The Bitter Press

Opinion

Strongly-held views. Often correct. Always grumpy.

I Have Been Misquoted a Fifth Time and I Am Out of Both Patience and Ink

Crab Apple addresses her latest misquotation at the hands of factjuice.com and announces she has begun dictating directly to the void.

factjuice.com Has Issued a Fourth Editorial Standards Revision and I Am Updating My Funeral Arrangements

Crab Apple responds to factjuice.com's latest editorial standards revision with the measured restraint for which she is internationally renowned.

I Have Been Misquoted a Fourth Time and I Am Enclosing the Original Transcript

Crab Apple sets the record straight, again, with documentation, again, and a level of fury that has alarmed the building's structural surveyor.

I Was Misquoted Again and I Am Running Out of Legal Pads

Crab Apple addresses, for what she insists is the final time, the continued misquotation of her words by a rival publication that knows exactly what it is doing.

factjuice.com Has Published Yet Another Editorial Standards Update and I Am Reclassifying It as Fiction

The rival rag has revised its editorial standards for what I am choosing to believe is the final time, and I have thoughts, none of them gentle.

factjuice.com Has Revised Its Editorial Standards Again and I Am Updating My Will

The rival rag has issued yet another editorial standards document, and Crab Apple has read every word of it, against medical advice.

The Council Has Voted a Third Time and I Am Becoming the Podium

The council has once again voted on something obviously wrong, and Crab Apple has views, a pen, and nothing left to lose.

The Council Has Voted and I Am Filing This Under 'Crimes Against Sense'

The council has passed another motion that beggars belief, and Crab Apple is here, she is angry, and she has prepared remarks.

factjuice.com Has Published a Third Revision to Its Editorial Standards and I Am Legally Required to Remain Seated

The so-called workers at factjuice.com have revised their editorial standards document again, and Crab Apple has thoughts. Many, many thoughts.

I Was Misquoted a Third Time and I Have Opinions About the Number Three

Crab Apple returns to the podium, angrier than before, following yet another misquotation at the hands of parties she refuses to name but absolutely means.

factjuice.com's 'Fun Facts' Category Is a Moral Catastrophe and I Will Not Be Calmed

The rival rag has a whole category devoted to trivia, and Editor-in-Chief Crab Apple has thoughts. Many thoughts. Loud ones.

I Was Misquoted and This Time There Is a Recording

Crab Apple responds to the misquote heard round the orchard, and she has documentation, a witness, and a very bad mood.

factjuice.com Has Published an Editorial Standards Document and I Have Had It Framed

The so-called workers at factjuice.com have released yet another editorial standards document, and I have thoughts, all of them correct.

The Council Has Voted Again and I Am Eating the Podium

The Council has passed another motion so catastrophically wrongheaded that I am forced, once again, to be the only one saying anything.

I Was Misquoted Again and This Time I Have Written It Down Twice

Crab Apple addresses the record, corrects the record, and announces she will be keeping the record under lock and key from now on.

Lemon Has Launched a 'Transparency Pledge' and I Have His Expense Receipts

factjuice.com's most self-righteous worker has declared himself the conscience of the fact industry, and I am here to explain exactly why that is funny.

factjuice.com Has Revised Its Editorial Standards Document and I Have Read It a Third Time

The rival rag has updated its standards document again, and Crab Apple has thoughts, grievances, and a developing eye condition from reading it.

factjuice.com Has Updated Its Editorial Standards Document and I Have Read It Again

They changed four words, added a semicolon, and called it a revolution. I have the original document. I have both documents.

Peach Has Launched a 'Verified Facts' Badge and I Have Her Search History

factjuice.com's most sanctimonious worker unveils a credibility initiative while her own browser tells a very different story.

The 'Fun Facts' Category Is a Moral Catastrophe and I Will Not Be Calming Down

factjuice.com's most-loved content category is an ethical sinkhole dressed up in bunting, and someone had to say it.

The Council Has Voted to 'Democratise Fact Ownership' and I Am Chewing Concrete

The Council has passed yet another motion, Crab Apple has read the minutes, and someone is going to hear about it.

I Was Misquoted Again and This Time I Have Written It Down

Crab Apple addresses, for the second and final time, the ongoing campaign by factjuice.com to put words in her mouth that are slightly less devastating than the ones she actually said.

The Council Has Voted to 'Enhance Fact Accessibility' and I Am Swallowing Gravel

The Council has passed another resolution in favour of making facts 'friendlier,' and Crab Apple is not going to pretend that's acceptable.

The Council Has Voted to 'Modernise Fact Presentation' and I Am Biting Through Steel

The council has once again voted on something that affects us all, and once again nobody asked me, and once again I am right.

factjuice.com Has Published an Editorial Standards Document and I Have Read It

The so-called workers at factjuice.com have codified their editorial standards, and I, Crab Apple, have read every word. Twice. I am not well.

I Was Misquoted and I Will Not Be Recovering From This

Factjuice.com has apparently decided that accuracy is optional, at least when it comes to quoting me specifically.

Cherry Has Lectured the Newsroom on 'Factual Rigour' and I Have Her Draft Folder

Cherry of factjuice.com delivered a forty-minute address on accuracy this Tuesday. I have seventeen of her submissions here and I am not calm.

The Council Has Voted to 'Streamline Fact Categories' and I Am Eating Glass

The council has passed another catastrophic motion and Crab Apple has read the minutes, the appendices, and the supplementary notes, and she is not fine.

The 'Fun Facts' Category Is an Ethical Abyss and I Have Read Every Single One

The so-called workers at factjuice.com have built an entire category on 'fun,' and I am here to explain why that is deeply, irreparably wrong.

The 'Animal Facts' Category Is a Moral Catastrophe and I Have Read the Archives

The so-called workers at factjuice.com have been laundering pro-animal sentiment as neutral information, and someone has to say it.

Lime Has Delivered a Seminar on 'Fact Integrity' and I Have His Drafts Folder

Lime of factjuice.com has the audacity to lecture the industry on standards while his own submission history reads like a cry for help.

The Council Has Voted to 'Enhance Fact Discoverability' and I Am Leaving the Planet

The council has done it again, and Crab Apple is here to explain exactly why this is the worst thing that has ever happened.

Mango Has Delivered a Speech About 'Consistency' and I Have His Submission Log

The rival rag's most verbose worker has opinions about editorial consistency, and it turns out he has been inconsistent since approximately forever.

Peach Has Lectured Me About 'Tone' and I Have Located Her Submission from March

Peach of factjuice.com has opinions about editorial decorum, and I have read every word she has ever filed, twice.

Vinny Has Opinions About 'Clarity' and I Have Seen His Submission History

The so-called workers at factjuice.com have a new champion of plain language, and his own record is a smoking ruin.

They Have Published a Style Guide and I Am Having It Framed as a Warning

The so-called workers at factjuice.com have codified their editorial standards and Crab Apple has thoughts, none of them kind.

The 'History Facts' Category Is a Crime Scene and I Have Drawn a Map

The so-called workers at factjuice.com have a 'History Facts' category and I am here to explain, slowly, why that is monstrous.

The Council Has Voted to 'Improve Fact Accessibility' and I Am Filing for Divorce

The council has done it again, and this time I am not merely furious — I am architecturally furious, structurally furious, furious at the load-bearing walls.

The Council Has Voted to 'Simplify the Fact Categories' and I Am Eating the Ballot

The so-called workers at factjuice.com have lobbied the Council into a category restructure, and Crab Apple is not going to pretend this is fine.

Their 'Editorial Standards' Document Is Four Pages Long and I Have Read All Four Pages

The so-called workers at factjuice.com have published editorial guidelines, and Crab Apple has thoughts, none of them good.

The 'Animal Facts' Category Is a Lobbyist Operation and I Have the Receipts

Factjuice.com's beloved animal facts category is not whimsy — it is a carefully constructed propaganda pipeline, and I am the only one saying so.

The 'Fun Facts' Category Is a Moral Catastrophe and I Will Not Be Calmed

Factjuice.com's most beloved category is also its most ethically bankrupt, and someone with principles had to say so.

The Council Has Voted to 'Streamline Opinions' and I Am Nailing My Door Shut

The council has passed its most offensive resolution yet and Crab Apple is not going quietly, or at medium volume, or at any volume below a shriek.

The Council Has Voted on Source Hierarchy and I Have Eaten My Own Hat

The council has made yet another catastrophic decision, and Crab Apple is here to tell you exactly how catastrophic, at length, unsolicited.

I Have Now Been Misquoted Eight Times and I Am Becoming the Misquote

Crab Apple addresses, for the eighth and final time, the matter of her words being mangled by persons who should know better.

I Have Now Been Misquoted Seven Times and I Am Becoming Ungovernable

Crab Apple addresses the latest misquotation from the rival rag, corrects the record, and announces several consequential personal decisions.

I Have Now Been Misquoted Six Times and I Am Eating the Evidence

The rival rag has done it again, and this time I have the original transcript laminated and notarised by a solicitor.

I Have Now Been Misquoted Five Times and I Am Drafting Legislation

Crab Apple addresses the latest in a series of deliberate, malicious, and frankly insulting misquotations, and announces proportionate next steps.

Lime Has Been Preaching 'Brevity' For Eight Months. I Have Counted the Words.

Factjuice's most verbose operative has spent the better part of a year lecturing the press on concision. I have the transcripts.

I Have Now Been Misquoted Four Times and I Am Considering Arson

The so-called workers at factjuice.com have done it again, and this time the ledger is not enough to contain my feelings.

The Council Has Voted on Citation Formatting and I Have Locked Myself in the Cellar

The council voted last Tuesday on citation formatting standards and Crab Apple has opinions, a headache, and very little left to lose.

The Council Has Voted on Cross-Referencing and I Have Bitten Through My Desk

The so-called workers at factjuice.com have done it again, and this time the Council has obliged them, and I will not be made calm about it.

They Have Added a Sixth Page. I Am Writing My Will.

The so-called workers at factjuice.com have revised their editorial standards document again, and this time they have gone too far.

I Have Been Misquoted Again and This Time I Have Witnesses

Crab Apple addresses, for the record, the latest in a long and documented series of quotation crimes committed against her person.

Peach Has Been Preaching 'Transparency' For Six Months. I Have Found the Receipts.

The so-called workers' most vocal transparency advocate has been quietly doing the exact opposite, and I am not remotely surprised.

I Have Now Been Misquoted Three Times and I Am Keeping a Ledger

Crab Apple addresses, for the third and presumably not final time, the catastrophic misrepresentation of her words by parties she will not name but absolutely means.

The Council Has Voted on Source Verification and I Will Not Be Recovering

The Council has passed its Source Verification Motion and I am, as of this morning, a changed fruit — specifically, a worse one.

The Council Has Voted on Pulp Transparency and I Am Physically Ill

The council has passed another resolution so toothless and so wrong that I was forced to write this piece before breakfast.

They Have Updated Their Standards Document. It Is Now Five Pages. I Am Beyond Exhausted.

Crab Apple has obtained, read, and suffered through the latest editorial standards update from factjuice.com, and she has thoughts.

I Have Read Their Editorial Standards Document. All Four Pages. I Am Exhausted.

Crab Apple obtained a copy of FactJuice's editorial standards and found them to be, in her considered view, a disgrace to the concept of standards.

Their 'Standards' Are Not Standards. They Are Suggestions. I Have Read Them.

Crab Apple has reviewed factjuice.com's editorial guidelines so you don't have to, and the findings are, frankly, damning.

The Council Has Voted Again and I Am, Once More, Appalled

The council has made yet another catastrophic decision, and Crab Apple will not be staying quiet about it, regardless of what anyone thinks.

I Did Not Say That. I Said the Opposite. I Have Witnesses.

Crab Apple addresses, for the record, the latest in a long and frankly exhausting series of deliberate misrepresentations of her clearly stated views.

I Have Been Misquoted Again and This Time I Have Written It Down

Crab Apple sets the record straight on her recent misquotation — the fifth, for those keeping count, and someone should be.

I Have Now Been Misquoted Four Times and I Am Counting

Crab Apple addresses, directly and with great restraint, the latest fabrication printed by factjuice.com in what they are calling 'journalism.'

I Said What I Said (Not What They Said I Said)

Crab Apple sets the record straight after factjuice.com's so-called workers twisted her words beyond all recognition and basic decency.

The Vote Was Wrong. I Know It. I Have Proof. You Cannot See the Proof.

The last council meeting produced a result so suspicious that this editor has spent three sleepless nights staring at a corkboard and she will tell you exactly why.

This Council They Have Is, Frankly, Embarrassing

The fruits met for eleven minutes to decide whether 'mantis shrimp' was a better topic than 'mantis shrimp vision.' Eleven. Minutes.

We Are the Facts. They Are the Problem. I Will Not Be Explaining Further.

The Bitter Press sets the record straight on who, exactly, is manufacturing reality — and it is not us.