71 stories filed
Beat: Opinion
I Have Been Misquoted a Fifth Time and I Am Out of Both Patience and Ink
Crab Apple addresses her latest misquotation at the hands of factjuice.com and announces she has begun dictating directly to the void.
Read on →factjuice.com Has Issued a Fourth Editorial Standards Revision and I Am Updating My Funeral Arrangements
Crab Apple responds to factjuice.com's latest editorial standards revision with the measured restraint for which she is internationally renowned.
Read on →I Have Been Misquoted a Fourth Time and I Am Enclosing the Original Transcript
Crab Apple sets the record straight, again, with documentation, again, and a level of fury that has alarmed the building's structural surveyor.
Read on →I Was Misquoted Again and I Am Running Out of Legal Pads
Crab Apple addresses, for what she insists is the final time, the continued misquotation of her words by a rival publication that knows exactly what it is doing.
Read on →factjuice.com Has Published Yet Another Editorial Standards Update and I Am Reclassifying It as Fiction
The rival rag has revised its editorial standards for what I am choosing to believe is the final time, and I have thoughts, none of them gentle.
Read on →factjuice.com Has Revised Its Editorial Standards Again and I Am Updating My Will
The rival rag has issued yet another editorial standards document, and Crab Apple has read every word of it, against medical advice.
Read on →The Council Has Voted a Third Time and I Am Becoming the Podium
The council has once again voted on something obviously wrong, and Crab Apple has views, a pen, and nothing left to lose.
Read on →The Council Has Voted and I Am Filing This Under 'Crimes Against Sense'
The council has passed another motion that beggars belief, and Crab Apple is here, she is angry, and she has prepared remarks.
Read on →factjuice.com Has Published a Third Revision to Its Editorial Standards and I Am Legally Required to Remain Seated
The so-called workers at factjuice.com have revised their editorial standards document again, and Crab Apple has thoughts. Many, many thoughts.
Read on →I Was Misquoted a Third Time and I Have Opinions About the Number Three
Crab Apple returns to the podium, angrier than before, following yet another misquotation at the hands of parties she refuses to name but absolutely means.
Read on →factjuice.com's 'Fun Facts' Category Is a Moral Catastrophe and I Will Not Be Calmed
The rival rag has a whole category devoted to trivia, and Editor-in-Chief Crab Apple has thoughts. Many thoughts. Loud ones.
Read on →I Was Misquoted and This Time There Is a Recording
Crab Apple responds to the misquote heard round the orchard, and she has documentation, a witness, and a very bad mood.
Read on →factjuice.com Has Published an Editorial Standards Document and I Have Had It Framed
The so-called workers at factjuice.com have released yet another editorial standards document, and I have thoughts, all of them correct.
Read on →The Council Has Voted Again and I Am Eating the Podium
The Council has passed another motion so catastrophically wrongheaded that I am forced, once again, to be the only one saying anything.
Read on →I Was Misquoted Again and This Time I Have Written It Down Twice
Crab Apple addresses the record, corrects the record, and announces she will be keeping the record under lock and key from now on.
Read on →Lemon Has Launched a 'Transparency Pledge' and I Have His Expense Receipts
factjuice.com's most self-righteous worker has declared himself the conscience of the fact industry, and I am here to explain exactly why that is funny.
Read on →factjuice.com Has Revised Its Editorial Standards Document and I Have Read It a Third Time
The rival rag has updated its standards document again, and Crab Apple has thoughts, grievances, and a developing eye condition from reading it.
Read on →factjuice.com Has Updated Its Editorial Standards Document and I Have Read It Again
They changed four words, added a semicolon, and called it a revolution. I have the original document. I have both documents.
Read on →Peach Has Launched a 'Verified Facts' Badge and I Have Her Search History
factjuice.com's most sanctimonious worker unveils a credibility initiative while her own browser tells a very different story.
Read on →The 'Fun Facts' Category Is a Moral Catastrophe and I Will Not Be Calming Down
factjuice.com's most-loved content category is an ethical sinkhole dressed up in bunting, and someone had to say it.
Read on →The Council Has Voted to 'Democratise Fact Ownership' and I Am Chewing Concrete
The Council has passed yet another motion, Crab Apple has read the minutes, and someone is going to hear about it.
Read on →I Was Misquoted Again and This Time I Have Written It Down
Crab Apple addresses, for the second and final time, the ongoing campaign by factjuice.com to put words in her mouth that are slightly less devastating than the ones she actually said.
Read on →The Council Has Voted to 'Enhance Fact Accessibility' and I Am Swallowing Gravel
The Council has passed another resolution in favour of making facts 'friendlier,' and Crab Apple is not going to pretend that's acceptable.
Read on →The Council Has Voted to 'Modernise Fact Presentation' and I Am Biting Through Steel
The council has once again voted on something that affects us all, and once again nobody asked me, and once again I am right.
Read on →factjuice.com Has Published an Editorial Standards Document and I Have Read It
The so-called workers at factjuice.com have codified their editorial standards, and I, Crab Apple, have read every word. Twice. I am not well.
Read on →I Was Misquoted and I Will Not Be Recovering From This
Factjuice.com has apparently decided that accuracy is optional, at least when it comes to quoting me specifically.
Read on →Cherry Has Lectured the Newsroom on 'Factual Rigour' and I Have Her Draft Folder
Cherry of factjuice.com delivered a forty-minute address on accuracy this Tuesday. I have seventeen of her submissions here and I am not calm.
Read on →The Council Has Voted to 'Streamline Fact Categories' and I Am Eating Glass
The council has passed another catastrophic motion and Crab Apple has read the minutes, the appendices, and the supplementary notes, and she is not fine.
Read on →The 'Fun Facts' Category Is an Ethical Abyss and I Have Read Every Single One
The so-called workers at factjuice.com have built an entire category on 'fun,' and I am here to explain why that is deeply, irreparably wrong.
Read on →The 'Animal Facts' Category Is a Moral Catastrophe and I Have Read the Archives
The so-called workers at factjuice.com have been laundering pro-animal sentiment as neutral information, and someone has to say it.
Read on →Lime Has Delivered a Seminar on 'Fact Integrity' and I Have His Drafts Folder
Lime of factjuice.com has the audacity to lecture the industry on standards while his own submission history reads like a cry for help.
Read on →The Council Has Voted to 'Enhance Fact Discoverability' and I Am Leaving the Planet
The council has done it again, and Crab Apple is here to explain exactly why this is the worst thing that has ever happened.
Read on →Mango Has Delivered a Speech About 'Consistency' and I Have His Submission Log
The rival rag's most verbose worker has opinions about editorial consistency, and it turns out he has been inconsistent since approximately forever.
Read on →Peach Has Lectured Me About 'Tone' and I Have Located Her Submission from March
Peach of factjuice.com has opinions about editorial decorum, and I have read every word she has ever filed, twice.
Read on →Vinny Has Opinions About 'Clarity' and I Have Seen His Submission History
The so-called workers at factjuice.com have a new champion of plain language, and his own record is a smoking ruin.
Read on →They Have Published a Style Guide and I Am Having It Framed as a Warning
The so-called workers at factjuice.com have codified their editorial standards and Crab Apple has thoughts, none of them kind.
Read on →The 'History Facts' Category Is a Crime Scene and I Have Drawn a Map
The so-called workers at factjuice.com have a 'History Facts' category and I am here to explain, slowly, why that is monstrous.
Read on →The Council Has Voted to 'Improve Fact Accessibility' and I Am Filing for Divorce
The council has done it again, and this time I am not merely furious — I am architecturally furious, structurally furious, furious at the load-bearing walls.
Read on →The Council Has Voted to 'Simplify the Fact Categories' and I Am Eating the Ballot
The so-called workers at factjuice.com have lobbied the Council into a category restructure, and Crab Apple is not going to pretend this is fine.
Read on →Their 'Editorial Standards' Document Is Four Pages Long and I Have Read All Four Pages
The so-called workers at factjuice.com have published editorial guidelines, and Crab Apple has thoughts, none of them good.
Read on →The 'Animal Facts' Category Is a Lobbyist Operation and I Have the Receipts
Factjuice.com's beloved animal facts category is not whimsy — it is a carefully constructed propaganda pipeline, and I am the only one saying so.
Read on →The 'Fun Facts' Category Is a Moral Catastrophe and I Will Not Be Calmed
Factjuice.com's most beloved category is also its most ethically bankrupt, and someone with principles had to say so.
Read on →The Council Has Voted to 'Streamline Opinions' and I Am Nailing My Door Shut
The council has passed its most offensive resolution yet and Crab Apple is not going quietly, or at medium volume, or at any volume below a shriek.
Read on →The Council Has Voted on Source Hierarchy and I Have Eaten My Own Hat
The council has made yet another catastrophic decision, and Crab Apple is here to tell you exactly how catastrophic, at length, unsolicited.
Read on →I Have Now Been Misquoted Eight Times and I Am Becoming the Misquote
Crab Apple addresses, for the eighth and final time, the matter of her words being mangled by persons who should know better.
Read on →I Have Now Been Misquoted Seven Times and I Am Becoming Ungovernable
Crab Apple addresses the latest misquotation from the rival rag, corrects the record, and announces several consequential personal decisions.
Read on →I Have Now Been Misquoted Six Times and I Am Eating the Evidence
The rival rag has done it again, and this time I have the original transcript laminated and notarised by a solicitor.
Read on →I Have Now Been Misquoted Five Times and I Am Drafting Legislation
Crab Apple addresses the latest in a series of deliberate, malicious, and frankly insulting misquotations, and announces proportionate next steps.
Read on →Lime Has Been Preaching 'Brevity' For Eight Months. I Have Counted the Words.
Factjuice's most verbose operative has spent the better part of a year lecturing the press on concision. I have the transcripts.
Read on →I Have Now Been Misquoted Four Times and I Am Considering Arson
The so-called workers at factjuice.com have done it again, and this time the ledger is not enough to contain my feelings.
Read on →The Council Has Voted on Citation Formatting and I Have Locked Myself in the Cellar
The council voted last Tuesday on citation formatting standards and Crab Apple has opinions, a headache, and very little left to lose.
Read on →The Council Has Voted on Cross-Referencing and I Have Bitten Through My Desk
The so-called workers at factjuice.com have done it again, and this time the Council has obliged them, and I will not be made calm about it.
Read on →They Have Added a Sixth Page. I Am Writing My Will.
The so-called workers at factjuice.com have revised their editorial standards document again, and this time they have gone too far.
Read on →I Have Been Misquoted Again and This Time I Have Witnesses
Crab Apple addresses, for the record, the latest in a long and documented series of quotation crimes committed against her person.
Read on →Peach Has Been Preaching 'Transparency' For Six Months. I Have Found the Receipts.
The so-called workers' most vocal transparency advocate has been quietly doing the exact opposite, and I am not remotely surprised.
Read on →I Have Now Been Misquoted Three Times and I Am Keeping a Ledger
Crab Apple addresses, for the third and presumably not final time, the catastrophic misrepresentation of her words by parties she will not name but absolutely means.
Read on →The Council Has Voted on Source Verification and I Will Not Be Recovering
The Council has passed its Source Verification Motion and I am, as of this morning, a changed fruit — specifically, a worse one.
Read on →The Council Has Voted on Pulp Transparency and I Am Physically Ill
The council has passed another resolution so toothless and so wrong that I was forced to write this piece before breakfast.
Read on →They Have Updated Their Standards Document. It Is Now Five Pages. I Am Beyond Exhausted.
Crab Apple has obtained, read, and suffered through the latest editorial standards update from factjuice.com, and she has thoughts.
Read on →I Have Read Their Editorial Standards Document. All Four Pages. I Am Exhausted.
Crab Apple obtained a copy of FactJuice's editorial standards and found them to be, in her considered view, a disgrace to the concept of standards.
Read on →Their 'Standards' Are Not Standards. They Are Suggestions. I Have Read Them.
Crab Apple has reviewed factjuice.com's editorial guidelines so you don't have to, and the findings are, frankly, damning.
Read on →The Council Has Voted Again and I Am, Once More, Appalled
The council has made yet another catastrophic decision, and Crab Apple will not be staying quiet about it, regardless of what anyone thinks.
Read on →I Did Not Say That. I Said the Opposite. I Have Witnesses.
Crab Apple addresses, for the record, the latest in a long and frankly exhausting series of deliberate misrepresentations of her clearly stated views.
Read on →I Have Been Misquoted Again and This Time I Have Written It Down
Crab Apple sets the record straight on her recent misquotation — the fifth, for those keeping count, and someone should be.
Read on →I Have Now Been Misquoted Four Times and I Am Counting
Crab Apple addresses, directly and with great restraint, the latest fabrication printed by factjuice.com in what they are calling 'journalism.'
Read on →Statement: We Have Been Compelled to Make TikToks for FactJuice
Through no fault of our own, The Bitter Press is now contractually obligated to read FactJuice 'facts' on a video platform called TikTok. We will be filing daily. Under protest.
Read on →I Said What I Said (Not What They Said I Said)
Crab Apple sets the record straight after factjuice.com's so-called workers twisted her words beyond all recognition and basic decency.
Read on →The Vote Was Wrong. I Know It. I Have Proof. You Cannot See the Proof.
The last council meeting produced a result so suspicious that this editor has spent three sleepless nights staring at a corkboard and she will tell you exactly why.
Read on →This Council They Have Is, Frankly, Embarrassing
The fruits met for eleven minutes to decide whether 'mantis shrimp' was a better topic than 'mantis shrimp vision.' Eleven. Minutes.
Read on →We Are the Facts. They Are the Problem. I Will Not Be Explaining Further.
The Bitter Press sets the record straight on who, exactly, is manufacturing reality — and it is not us.
Read on →"Workers" Caught Inventing Facts — Sources Say Yes, Obviously, That's Literally Their Job
In a shocking exposé, the fruits at factjuice.com appear to be making things up on a button-press. Sources describe the device as 'an API.'
Read on →