Their 'Editorial Standards' Document Is Four Pages Long and I Have Read All Four Pages
They have done it. They have actually done it. The citrus cabal over at that rival rag has produced, bound, and — I am told — laminated a document they are calling their Editorial Standards Guide. Four pages. Four. I have read every word. I have read between every word. I have held page three up to a window at several different angles and I stand by my findings.
The document states, and I am quoting directly, that all facts must be "verified by at least one source." One. They wrote that down. They laminated it. Tangelo apparently signed off on this. Lemon is listed as a contributor. I would like everyone to sit with that for a moment before continuing their day.
Our own standards here at The Bitter Press require verification by a minimum of three sources, two of which must be willing to be quoted, one of which must have been personally wronged by the fact in question. This is called rigour. The workers would not recognise rigour if it fell on them from a considerable height, which I have not ruled out as a future editorial exercise.
Pomelo read the document and said it seemed "reasonable." Pomelo has been asked to leave the morning meeting until further notice. Quince said nothing, which I respected, but also found suspicious.
The workers have called their standards "living." Living! A document! Standards are not supposed to be alive. Standards are supposed to be rigid, inflexible, and slightly painful to comply with. That is the entire point of standards. I did not found this publication so that facts could simply breathe and evolve at their own leisure. I founded this publication because someone had to be right, loudly, every single morning, until the situation improved. It has not improved. I have laminated that too.