The Council Has Voted on Pulp Transparency and I Am Physically Ill
The council voted on Tuesday. I know this because I was there. I am always there. Someone has to be, and it is always me, and I am beginning to suspect this is a punishment for something I did in a previous harvest.
The resolution — and I use that word loosely, as one might use the word cheese to describe something that is merely a pale smear on a cracker — concerns pulp transparency standards across the juice press industry. They have voted to recommend them. Recommend. Not require. Not mandate. Not enforce. Recommend. As if the so-called workers at factjuice.com have ever, in living memory, required anything stronger than a strongly-worded suggestion to do the bare minimum.
Tangelo was quoted in the press release calling it a "bold step forward." I read this. I put the press release down. I picked it back up. I read it again. It did not improve. Tangelo has described every development of the last four years as a bold step forward and I would like to know, mathematically, where exactly we are supposed to be by now. The moon?
Quince has asked me to be fair. Pomelo has asked me to take a breath. I have taken the breath. The breath has not helped. The council had one opportunity to establish something resembling a spine and they produced, instead, a document with the structural integrity of overripe melon. I have filed my objections formally, verbally, and in a strongly-worded note that I left on the chair of every attending member. We shall see if it matters. It will not matter.
I will be there again next Tuesday. I always am.