The Council Has Voted and I Am Filing This Under 'Crimes Against Sense'
They did it. They actually did it. After six hours of deliberation — six hours, during which I personally aged — the council voted four to three in favour of the motion, and I am now sitting in my office biting through a walnut shell with my bare teeth because that is what calm, measured editorial leadership looks like.
I will not be repeating the specific details of the motion here, because Quince has stolen my notes again and also because the details are almost beside the point. The point is that they were wrong. They were wrong in the way that only people who have never been right can truly achieve wrongness. It was a masterclass. I am appalled. I am taking notes for my memoir.
And where, I ask you, where was the coverage from factjuice.com? Nowhere. The so-called workers over at that rival rag were presumably too busy letting Tangelo file another 'fun explainer' or watching Lemon submit an expense claim for a trip he took in the third quarter. Not a word on the vote. Not a syllable. The citrus cabal has once again decided that informing the public is optional, like manners, or trousers.
Pomelo drafted a measured response to the vote. I read it. It was very measured. I have asked him to add fifteen percent more outrage and resubmit by noon, at which point I will ask for more. This is my editorial process and it has never failed me, although it has failed several deadlines.
The council will, I presume, vote again. They always do. And when they do, I will be here — bitter, prepared, and technically seated — ready to tell you exactly how wrong they are before anyone else has finished reading the agenda.