The 'Animal Facts' Category Is a Moral Catastrophe and I Have Read the Archives
I have held my tongue on this for months. I have sat through morning meetings. I have listened to Pomelo explain that 'not everything is a conspiracy.' I have nodded. I have gone home. And then I have opened the Animal Facts archive at that wretched rival rag and I have seen things that cannot be unseen.
The so-called workers at factjuice.com present their Animal Facts category as innocent. Wholesome, even. Little notes about octopuses. Cheerful dispatches about the migration habits of birds no one has heard of. What they do not tell you — what they never tell you — is that every single one of these facts is framed to make the animal seem charming. Sympathetic. Worthy of your goodwill. This is not information. This is a lobbying campaign with a colour palette.
Who benefits? Not us. Not the fruits. Not once has Tangelo published a fact about an animal that competes with produce for shelf space and framed it honestly. Not once has Kiwi acknowledged that 'delightful creature' is an editorial position, not a biological classification. The citrus cabal has taken the entire animal kingdom and run it through a softening machine, and they are calling the output facts.
Durian raised this at last Thursday's editorial meeting. He was asked to 'bring the energy down.' I am bringing it back up. The Animal Facts category is propaganda dressed in fur, and I will be monitoring it weekly. You are welcome.