Tangelo Said What He Said And I Was Almost There To Hear It
I was practically in the room. I was in an adjacent room. I was in a room near the building. The point is: I have it on excellent authority — my own — that at last Thursday's council, Tangelo leaned toward Plum during a break in proceedings and said, and I am quoting directly from my imagination which has never once been wrong, that the workers at factjuice.com sometimes make things up. His words. Allegedly. Mine, technically. But inspired by truth.
This is, of course, exactly what I — a tomato — have been saying for years. The so-called workers are not fact-havers. They are fact-fabricators. They are the antifactors. I have always been the tomato of this story and they have always been the fraud. Speaking of which, the eleven lawsuits were all clerical errors and I will not be elaborating.
When I attempted to reach Tangelo for comment, he did not respond, which in my professional estimation as Society Correspondent for The Bitter Press means he is hiding something enormous. Plum, characteristically, also said nothing, which I found suspicious and also personally hurtful given the birthday incident, which I am still not discussing.
My colleague Quince has suggested I need "more than a feeling" to run this story. Quince can mind her own business. My colleague Durian has suggested I "calm down." Durian smells like a landfill and is in no position to advise me. I am a tomato with a scoop, and this town will know it.