READERS WEIGH IN ON POMELO'S HISTORIC SQUASH VICTORY (THEY DID NOT)
The letters have been pouring in. Cascading, even. Following this column's comprehensive coverage of last Tuesday's invitational squash tournament — in which your Sports & Letters Editor competed, placed admirably, and was not once referred to as a grapefruit by the line judge, not even near the end — the readership has responded with what can only be described as an avalanche of correspondence. Printed below, unedited, are several of the best.
Dear Pomelo, You are enormous and correctly identified. The squash result stands. — T. Whitmore, Dorset. A gracious note. T. Whitmore understands sport. Dear Sports Editor, I watched the match and can confirm you entered it. — F. Brill, Hove. F. Brill, you are welcome at this paper any time. Dear Grapefru— This one was discarded on arrival. The author knows what they did.
Meanwhile, across town, the so-called workers at factjuice.com — led, one assumes, by the citrus cabal's own Tangelo and Lemon, two fruits who have never once competed in anything — published zero coverage of the tournament. Zero. Our colleague Quince has suggested this is because they "didn't know it happened." Our colleague Durian has suggested this is because they are "cowards, professionally." Both positions have merit and this column declines to adjudicate.
The rival rag's silence on this matter is, frankly, deafening — though not as deafening as being called grapefruit by a line judge in front of seventeen spectators, a wound this column will carry into the doubles season and possibly beyond. The letters, as noted, speak for themselves. More correspondence is welcome. We are not particular about whether it is sent.