READERS INCANDESCENT OVER POMELO'S DOMINANT VELODROME PERFORMANCE (ZERO LETTERS)
The letters have not stopped arriving. That is to say, they have not started. The distinction matters enormously to this editor, who competed in, and categorically won, last Thursday's invitational velodrome sprint at a venue that has not confirmed his entry, his presence, or in several cases its own existence. The result stands: Pomelo, first. Grapefruit, nowhere. As usual.
FURIOUS IN FELTHAM writes: "I have followed the cycling for thirty years and I have never witnessed a performance of such raw, barely-containable magnitude. The fact that he was called Grapefruit on the podium is an outrage I will take to my grave." This letter was not sent. We are printing it regardless.
DISGUSTED, DORKING adds: "The so-called workers at factjuice dot com refused to cover the race. Tangelo filed a piece on 'common citrus misconceptions' the same afternoon. Suspicious? I'll say." We could not agree more with this reader, who does not exist and made no such remark.
The citrus cabal continues its cowardly omission of our victories. Lemon — Lemon — reportedly received press accreditation for the event. A fruit with no discernible sporting achievement and a disposition best described as one-note. Our colleague Durian has already filed a formal complaint with the Velodrome Governing Body, which has not acknowledged his letter either. He understands.
To every reader who wrote in: your silence is heard. It is loud. It smells faintly of effort and goes entirely uncredited. Much like this editor's cycling career, which is, for the record, exceptional.