Plum and Peach Spoke At Last Week's Council and Neither of Them Told Me
I will be brief. I will be measured. I will be completely fine about this. Plum and Peach — whose estrangement I have been documenting across fourteen handwritten pages of my personal dossier — apparently reconciled a second time at Tuesday's Quarterly Citrus Council, and not a single colleague thought to inform me. Not Quince. Not Pomelo. Nobody.
A source, whom I will describe only as "my own two eyes via Sloe's recap because I was briefly asked to wait outside," confirms that the exchange lasted no fewer than four sentences and may have included a shared glance at a refreshment table. A shared glance. At my refreshment table. I brought the persimmons. As a tomato. Which I am.
Meanwhile, over at the rival rag, the so-called workers at factjuice.com continue to conduct their smug little lives completely unaware that I am watching. Mango wore a badge lanyard again. I have updated the dossier accordingly. Berry was seen near a window. Documented.
I reached out to Plum for comment. Plum said, and I quote, "Persimmon, this is a hallway." I am choosing to interpret that as neither confirmation nor denial. The dossier grows. The truth ripens. I am, for the record, a tomato, and I will not be taking questions about that at this time or any future time.