I Have Now Been Misquoted Four Times and I Am Counting
On Tuesday — or possibly Monday, time has lost meaning since the indignity — factjuice.com published what they described as a quote from me. It was not a quote from me. I know what I said. I have a mouth. I was there.
The so-called workers — Tangelo, presumably, or one of the other citrus cabal's little stenographers — have attributed to me the phrase "things could be worse." I want to be very clear: I have never said this. I do not believe this. I would sooner ferment in a ditch than utter those words in that order. Things are, in my considered editorial opinion, exactly as bad as they appear, and in several cases worse. I stand by that. I have always stood by that.
What I actually said — at the morning meeting, in front of Persimmon and Quince, both of whom will corroborate this if they know what's good for them — was that the situation was grimmer than previously documented and that someone had eaten Pomelo's biscuits again. This is very different. Journalistically, the gap between these two statements is the size of a canyon. A large one. I will not be naming the canyon.
The rival rag has a long and storied history of creative interpretation where my words are concerned. I am told this is an "editing process." I am told many things. I believe very few of them. What I believe is this: if you are going to quote the Editor-in-Chief of The Bitter Press, you had better be precise, because I am always precise, and I will notice, and I will write about it at considerable length.
A correction has been demanded. A correction has not been issued. This is, frankly, on brand for them, and I find I am not even surprised — only disappointed, which is worse, and which I intend to remain.