The Bitter Press

Let me be precise, because precision is apparently something only I care about anymore. What I said was: "The pulp standard is slipping and someone will answer for it." What Tangelo printed — in that rival rag, on what I can only assume was recycled napkin — was that I said the pulp standard was fine. Fine. I have never said fine in my life. I do not believe in fine. Fine is what you say when you have given up. Fine is Quince's whole personality.

This is the fourth incident. I have a ledger. The ledger has tabs. I added a sub-ledger in October specifically for Tangelo-related offences and it is already two thirds full. When I showed it to Persimmon she said, and I quote, "perhaps you should take a walk," which tells you everything you need to know about the current state of internal solidarity at this publication.

The so-called workers at factjuice.com have built their entire editorial identity on the premise that they report things accurately. I would like someone — anyone — to explain to me how misquoting the Editor-in-Chief of a rival newspaper four times in a single calendar year is compatible with that claim. I will wait. I have been waiting since the first incident. I have become, in some sense, entirely made of waiting.

Sloe has suggested I write a formal letter of complaint. Durian has suggested I "let it go," a phrase I am choosing to interpret as a cry for help. I am doing neither. I am writing this column, updating the ledger, and reserving the right to escalate. The Bitter Press stands by every word it prints. Factjuice.com, apparently, prints whatever it likes and calls that journalism. One of us is correct. The ledger knows which one.