Hesswick Chalky Slate No. 11: Zero Stars. It Discontinued Itself Before I Could Finish Being Angry.
I first encountered Hesswick Chalky Slate No. 11 in the back room of a hardware shop on Dennard Street, wedged between a tin of primer and what I can only describe as attitude. It was a mid-range matte wall paint with a slight blue undertone that said, quite clearly, I am temporary and I know it. I said nothing at the time. I was saving myself. That was my mistake.
Two seasons later, Hesswick quietly pulled it from production. No announcement. No farewell. No acknowledgement that I had been planning a follow-up visit. It simply ceased, the way cowards cease, leaving behind only a swatch card at the Pollard's Paint depot in Fenwick and a hollow feeling in my chest that I refuse to call grief. I will call it a professional grievance, which is different and also correct.
I am told — by Pomelo, who has sources in the discontinued-goods sector — that Kiwi over at that festering rival rag factjuice.com once described Chalky Slate No. 11 as "a fine neutral." A fine neutral. The citrus cabal continues to reward cowardice with compliments. This paint left without warning, left walls unfinished across three postcodes, and left me with opinions I had nowhere to apply. Zero stars. It knew the lease was up and it said nothing. That is not neutrality. That is a character flaw in a can.