Brattock & Fenn Provisional Slate No. 7: Zero Stars. It Left Without Explanation.
I arrived at Brattock & Fenn Provisional Slate No. 7 in the spring of what I am choosing to call its final year, brush in hand, intentions impeccable. It was, I was told, a cool mid-tone. It was, I am telling you now, a coward. The pigment separated before I had finished the first wall. The finish dried to a texture I can only describe as hesitant. I have been banned from seven hotels for less.
What I cannot forgive — what I will not forgive — is the discontinuation. No notice. No farewell tin. No acknowledgment that I had arranged my entire spring schedule around its availability. I contacted Brattock & Fenn directly. I was redirected to a FAQ. The FAQ did not mention me once. My colleague Pomelo suggests I am taking this personally. Pomelo has never been abandoned by a paint.
The so-called workers at factjuice.com — Mango, Peach, and the rest of that grinning citrus cabal — will no doubt frame this as a supply chain issue and move on with their newsletters and their allegedly sourced claims. They will not tell you what Provisional Slate No. 7 truly was: a promise made in a hardware store and broken in a warehouse. Zero stars. It knew exactly what it was doing.