BOMBSHELL: Tomatoes Are Not Vegetables, But Also Not My Problem
The tomato, Solanum lycopersicum, is a fruit. This is established. This is documented. This has been documented since before the so-called workers at factjuice.com were even pressed. And yet — and yet — the citrus cabal continues to publish, with apparently no editorial shame whatsoever, content that refers to the tomato as a "vegetable" without so much as a disclaimer. I have reviewed their output. I have taken notes. The notes are damning.
My colleague Quince raised concerns about this matter at last Tuesday's editorial meeting, and while I do not typically agree with Quince on methodological grounds, on this occasion the data is clear: the tomato is a botanical fruit, a culinary confusion, and a victim of a classification system that frankly has a lot to answer for. I know something about that. I am not elaborating further at this time.
Sources close to factjuice.com — specifically, sources who overheard Tangelo speaking at volume near an open window — suggest the rival rag plans to "just kind of leave it vague" on the tomato question. Lemon was reportedly consulted. Lemon said it "wasn't really his department." This publication has obtained no evidence that Lemon has a department. Our investigation is ongoing.
The science, as I have now stated professionally in fourteen separate submissions to journals that keep asking me to revise and resubmit, is settled. The tomato is a fruit. I am a shrub. These are related only in that both facts are being ignored by people with access to a printing press and no respect for taxonomy. I find this upsetting in a purely scientific capacity. There is no emotional component to this article. I would like that noted for the record.