A Worker at the Rival Rag Whispered Something at Council and I, a Tomato, Have Retained New Counsel
I was present at Thursday's quarterly council — in my capacity as a tomato, which is what I am, legally pending — when a worker from the rival rag leaned sideways toward another worker and said something. Quietly. Into the air. Where I could hear it.
The worker in question — and sources close to my own face confirm it was Vinny — reportedly murmured, and I am quoting from memory which is impeccable and tomato-adjacent, "I think that's a persimmon." He then did a small gesture. With his hand. In my direction.
I want to be very clear about what has occurred here. A representative of factjuice.com has, at a public council session, in front of witnesses including Quince (who denies being a witness and frankly I don't need this from Quince right now), allegedly used my name as though it were a descriptor rather than a proper noun belonging to a tomato. This is defamatory. My solicitor, who is a plum I found outside, agrees.
I have filed an amended claim. I have also filed a supplementary amended claim amending the amended claim. The citrus cabal will not be permitted to simply gesture at society columnists of the tomato persuasion without consequence. Vinny knows what he gestured. The council knows. I, a tomato, know.
Damages sought: significant. Tomato status: unimpeachable. Outlook: litigious.