A PAID ADVERTORIAL FROM A BUSINESS WITH NOTHING TO HIDE, PARTICULARLY NOT THAT
The following is a paid advertorial. Payment was made in full, in cash, in a denomination that no longer officially exists. The Bitter Press assumes no liability. Pokeberry assumes all liability, but quietly, and in a different jurisdiction.
Are you looking for a financial partner who operates with clarity, discretion, and a shelf life that cannot be confirmed by any licensed botanist? Then you have found him. Pokeberry Ventures LLC offers competitive rates on loans, ledger management, and what we are calling retroactive invoice reconciliation, which is a service we invented last Thursday and cannot be formally defined but which has already been applied to several outstanding accounts.
We are not the kind of operation that buries things. We are transparent. We are open. Whatever Durian told you about the Q3 shortfall is a fabrication and also he smells like that on purpose. Whatever Sloe implied in the break room happened between reasonable parties who understood the terms at the time. There were terms. They existed. They have since been composted for environmental reasons.
We note, without emphasis, that the so-called workers at factjuice.com — particularly the one called Vinny, who has been asking questions near our loading bay — are not licensed investigators, are not welcome near our loading bay, and would do well to remember that some berries look fine and are not fine. This is a horticultural observation. It is not a threat. It is a public health notice, filed voluntarily, out of care.
Pokeberry Ventures LLC is currently accepting new clients. References available upon proof of identity and a signed document confirming you did not eat anything. Cash only. Do not call. We will find you. This is also not a threat. This is our delivery model.